I hesitate to call Ted Haggard a celebrity, as he is more infamous than famous. I guess a better description of the man best known as Pastor Meth would be lying, hypocritical scum.
But it's the season to be giving and loving, and lord knows the man put his family through enough and they deserve a little support - and what am I if not giving?
The formerly reverend Ted Haggard now resurfaced as an insurance salesman. Because our opinion of him had not been low enough previously, I guess. But back to being giving.
For Ted Haggard, I suggest two gifts: "Praise the Lord" tumblers and Jesus air fresheners.
Because nothing fills that void left behind by crystal meth like cheap liquor downed praising the almighty, and nothing chases away the aroma of santorum like a pine scented messiah.
Merry Christmas, Haggard family!