Sunday, December 12, 2010

Leaked: DC Comics Plans for 2011

More revealing than Wikileaks! More truthiness than on the Colbert show! More unexpected revelations than an episode of Lost!

Today, the4thpip's blog of blogged blog things brings you the things that Dan DiDio does not want you to know yet because he is worried you will adjust your pull lists accordingly. It's DC Comics' secret plans for 2011!

The Trinity
After the disappointment of Superman: Grounded, DC realized they just went about the idea too half-heartedly. So the new year will bring a 12-issue-storyline inspired by Marcel Proust called Superman: Bed Ridden. A Kryptonian strain of swine flu makes it to Earth on a meteor that contained some of Krypto's dog poo from when he was first shot into space in that cruel case of animal testing. Watch in awe as Superman follows the daily soap operas on TV, takes on Sudoku without fear and skillfully tosses his tissues into a waste basket on the other side of town!

As for the Caped Crusader, the recent success of the expanded Batman line will lead to even more new titles: Batgirl & Robin, Spoiler: Year One, Batman Force, Batman: Caped Crusader, Bruce Wayne, the Spectacular Batman, Batman's Pal, James Gordon, Batman: Weapon B and Batman: Life on the B-List.

Wonder Woman will become Wonder Woman & Swamp Thing by Phil Hester.
She is an Amazon princess made of clay, he is a dead scientist reborn in mud - they fight crime!

Team Books
You'd have to pry Justice League of America from James Robinson's cold, dead fingers - but this time, everything will be different. After spending a maxi series exploring the "Justice!" aspect of the team, he will now turn his attention to the "League" aspect as a new, deadly Sports Master forces our heroes into games of Baseball, Football and Beach Volleyball. Watch for that very special hockey issue to come out for Christmas - that really is Rudolph's skin the villain is wearing as a coat!

Guggenheim's plans to turn the Justice Society into a "real society" with tons of new members will mean the book will have to be split in two (again), so in 2011 we will have three titles: JSA All-Stars, Justice Society, and JSA: D-List.

New Imprint
A surprise new venture for DC will be a cooperation with Broadway for an inspired new line of musical theater related books.
In the works are:

Wicked ft. Zatanna and Miss Martian

Guys and Dolls featuring Guy Gardner and Doll Man

La Cage aux Folles ft. Apollo and the Midnighter

Dream Girls ft, well, Dream Girl of the Legion of superheroes. And Beyoncé!

Hair featuring Dan DiDio himself!

Kiss of the Spider-Woman, featuring an ugly lawsuit by Marvel comics.

Big Summer Crossover
After Infinite Crisis, Sinestro War, Blackest Night, Brightest Day, Flashpoint and the Return of Bruce Wayne, DC will be upping the ante with a mega crossover called DC: Pancakes. Details are still sketchy, but I hear there will be an incentive scheme that will make those colorful plastic rings look downright unappetizing!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

You Can't Make this Up

Bishop Eddie "Long Dong" Long, public homophobic church superstar, private homosexual predator on the down low, got some words of support by none other than our old friend, Pastor Meth himself, Ted Haggard.

Here is a message to everybody involved with organized religion: Get out. Stop looking up to the shiniest, loudest, most charismatic leaders. They're all wolves in sheeps' clothing at worst, and pathetic little cowards at best. Go and find your own relationship with god if you must, or just do what seems so clear: Go out and help people, do right, treat the world, those around you, and yourself with respect and love. You don't need no doggone mega-church, televangelist, or make-belief country in Italy for that.

No guru, no method, no teacher
Just you and I and nature
And the Father in the garden

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mary Cheney is a Dick

Guess what Mary Cheney did?

Mary Cheney, Daughter of Dick, best selling author, famous lesbian, made a $ 500 campaign donation to an anti-gay-marriage candidate running for the senate.

Unless she gave him the money with the advice to use it to buy a clue, the only explanation is that Mary Cheney is quite a Richard.

For all the shameful and pathetic Marys and Marias out in the world, here is my First Choice of musical shaming:

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Happy 60th Birthday, Patti Austin!

One of the most accomplished singers in the fields of soul, pop and jazz turns... that can't be right? She doesn't look a day over 50!

A very Happy Birthday to Grammy winning singer and lovable lunatic, Patti Austin!

Keep that music playing, diva!

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Here's a Fun Game

Do an Ecosia or search-engine-of-your-choice search for either "Jesus" or "Bible" in combination with various versions of the Chinese Proverb Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will eat for life.

Quite a few right wingers other than Rush Limbaugh falsely attribute the saying to make their Jesus look a little less pinko commie socialist than he does in the bible.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Saturday, May 08, 2010

60K of Florida Taxpayers' Money went to Very Gay Anti-Gay Activist for Acting Like an Anti-Gay Douche

Florida Attorney General Bill "Gollum" McCollum wasted something between $60,900 and $87,000 to the previously mentioned closet case hateful bigot, George Reker. I guess which figure you come up with depends on whether you include the tax-exempt rent boy allowance.

McCollum invested that money in his precioussssssss pure bigotry, getting the very gay Reker to give his "expert's" opnion on why gay people make horrible, horrible adoptive parents on par with Catholic priests. Never mind that anyone but the mouth-breathing Bill McCollum would have realized that in light of all the peer-reviewed studies on the subject and the APA's statements on the issue, any sane judge would do what the judge did here and throw out Reker's self-hating hack job testimony.

McCollum should pay taxpayers back out of his own pocket, and George Reker needs to face up to his self hatred and Shame, Shame, Shame and admit that is him in the white suit in that clip.

Update: The Miami Herald even puts the number at $ 120,000!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Very Gay Anti-Gay Activist Brags About Size of his Tool

To absolutely nobody's surprise, Florida's extreme-rightwing, Taliban-level Christian homophobe George Alan Rekers went on a vacation with a gay rent boy.

I find a bit off color the way he brags about his penis, though:

"I had surgery," Rekers said, "and I can't lift luggage. That's why I hired him."

I guess it's not really bragging when he admits in the same sentence that he had penis-enlargement surgery though, is it?

To George Alan Rekers and all the closeted gay Christians who can't do the heavy lifting themselves, I dedicate "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" as sung by the legendary Persuasions.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Milestone reached in protecting Children in Washington, DC

Foster children in Washington, DC just got a lot safer from child abuse. And we have gay marriage to thank for that:

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington has ended its 80-year-old foster-care program in the District rather than license same-sex couples, the first fallout from a bitter debate over the city's move to legalize same-sex marriage.

Catholic Charities, which runs more than 20 social service programs for the District, transferred its entire foster-care program -- 43 children, 35 families and seven staff members -- to another provider, the National Center for Children and Families. Tommy Wells (D-Ward 6), the D.C. Council member who chairs the Committee on Human Services, said he didn't know of any problems with the transfer, which happened Feb. 1.
A move in the right direction for the safety of children.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Movie Review: A Single Man

So the two movies I saw so far this year were "A Serious Man" about a middle aged college professor whose life is crap and "A Single Man" about, well, a middle aged college professor whose life is crap.

I read Isherwood's novel for the first time last year. I'll mention that I picked up the book at a used book store specializing in English language books in Avignon in the South of France just because that sounds so damn cool.

I was worried that Hollywood would add a happy ending, or explosions and more chicks to make it more of a straight guy flick, but none of that happened.

It's an incredibly sad story, most of the action is internal to the lead character brought to tragic life by Colin Firth who really outdoes himself. I hope he gets that Oscar. Julianne Moore is also amazing, but unlike Firth you sometimes get the impression that she was trying to get nominated every single moment she was on camera. Unlike Firth, she didn't get a nod though.

The movie is directed by fashion designer Tom Ford, and the fact that the movie often looks like a perfume ad sometimes took me out of the story. It's a story about very real emotions, but it hardly ever loses that fairy tale visual quality. In some moments though, it works, and then it works brilliantly. When a dying man is shot with that sense of beauty, it evoked images of Michelangelo's Pieta in me.

I wish I hadn't had to sleep alone after watching "A Single Man." It's certainly a picture that stays with you.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Comic Book Artist ChrisCross is a Heartless Ingrate

ChrisCross (born as Christopher Williams, not to be confused with the musician he wisely picked an alias that is also used by a musician) owes his career to gay characters and gay and gay-friendly creators.

His breakthrough work came on Blood Syndicate, a series created by liberal Dwayne McDuffie and brought to critical acclaim by gay writer Ivan Velez, Jr, who also drew and wrote the great "Tales of the Closet."

ChrisCross went on to draw Captain Marvel for gay-friendly Peter A. David's scripts, a series featuring a lesbian relationship. After he did not get what he wanted from DC on the then new Firestorm series, he went on to draw one of comicdom's most famous gay heroes, the Midnighter, who happens to be married to his teammate Apollo.

All of that did not stop ChrisChross from voting for Proposition 8 and hiding behind his bible to defend that shameful human rights violation, as told by one of his facebook contacts here.

When said contact told him he could no longer be his fan in light of his hateful actions, this was ChrisCross' reply:

Glad to hear that. I"m proud of my vote. Only i'm not hating. Read First Timothy in the Bible, my brother. Then ask me why i voted that way. I'm a Christian, and i stand what God stands for, not society. And i'm not impressed or DEpressed by your disappointment. But i'm glad you were a fan.

Always remember to add a smiley face to your bigotry, kids!

As a black man, ChrisCross should realize that the same kind of politically motivated interpretation of obscure bible passages has been used by other hate groups to oppose interracial marriage.

As a creator who might be drawing portraits on a sidewalk for a nickel if it wasn't for the gay community, he should just keep his pie hole shut about his own bigotry at the very least.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Pathetic terrorism failure wants to be even less of a hero to his sad cause

Christmas terror suspect pleads not guilty.
Turns out crispy fried penis was actually his idea of a delicious in-flight snack. And really, considering the quality of airline food, who can blame him.

Special points to the AP writers for pointing out that a Nigerian speaks English. In other news, water is wet.