Sunday, December 12, 2010

Leaked: DC Comics Plans for 2011

More revealing than Wikileaks! More truthiness than on the Colbert show! More unexpected revelations than an episode of Lost!

Today, the4thpip's blog of blogged blog things brings you the things that Dan DiDio does not want you to know yet because he is worried you will adjust your pull lists accordingly. It's DC Comics' secret plans for 2011!

The Trinity
After the disappointment of Superman: Grounded, DC realized they just went about the idea too half-heartedly. So the new year will bring a 12-issue-storyline inspired by Marcel Proust called Superman: Bed Ridden. A Kryptonian strain of swine flu makes it to Earth on a meteor that contained some of Krypto's dog poo from when he was first shot into space in that cruel case of animal testing. Watch in awe as Superman follows the daily soap operas on TV, takes on Sudoku without fear and skillfully tosses his tissues into a waste basket on the other side of town!

As for the Caped Crusader, the recent success of the expanded Batman line will lead to even more new titles: Batgirl & Robin, Spoiler: Year One, Batman Force, Batman: Caped Crusader, Bruce Wayne, the Spectacular Batman, Batman's Pal, James Gordon, Batman: Weapon B and Batman: Life on the B-List.

Wonder Woman will become Wonder Woman & Swamp Thing by Phil Hester.
She is an Amazon princess made of clay, he is a dead scientist reborn in mud - they fight crime!

Team Books
You'd have to pry Justice League of America from James Robinson's cold, dead fingers - but this time, everything will be different. After spending a maxi series exploring the "Justice!" aspect of the team, he will now turn his attention to the "League" aspect as a new, deadly Sports Master forces our heroes into games of Baseball, Football and Beach Volleyball. Watch for that very special hockey issue to come out for Christmas - that really is Rudolph's skin the villain is wearing as a coat!

Guggenheim's plans to turn the Justice Society into a "real society" with tons of new members will mean the book will have to be split in two (again), so in 2011 we will have three titles: JSA All-Stars, Justice Society, and JSA: D-List.

New Imprint
A surprise new venture for DC will be a cooperation with Broadway for an inspired new line of musical theater related books.
In the works are:

Wicked ft. Zatanna and Miss Martian

Guys and Dolls featuring Guy Gardner and Doll Man

La Cage aux Folles ft. Apollo and the Midnighter

Dream Girls ft, well, Dream Girl of the Legion of superheroes. And Beyoncé!

Hair featuring Dan DiDio himself!

Kiss of the Spider-Woman, featuring an ugly lawsuit by Marvel comics.

Big Summer Crossover
After Infinite Crisis, Sinestro War, Blackest Night, Brightest Day, Flashpoint and the Return of Bruce Wayne, DC will be upping the ante with a mega crossover called DC: Pancakes. Details are still sketchy, but I hear there will be an incentive scheme that will make those colorful plastic rings look downright unappetizing!


Wolfie said...

Awesome, Schatzi!!


James Figueiredo said...

"Wonder Woman will become Wonder Woman & Swamp Thing by Phil Hester.
She is an Amazon princess made of clay, he is a dead scientist reborn in mud - they fight crime!"

I would buy the hell outta this comic! ;)