Nevada's Governor: Strong on Security. Not.

The good people of Nevada must have been fully aware they elected a moron to office when they picked Jim Gibbons. After all, he thought it was a good idea to get drunk with a cocktail waitress in public while his campaign was in full swing. And then to accompany her to her car and let her drive home drunk.

And now this boy genius proved that he is a security mastermind, posting his own Outlook password on the Internets.

Good to see that politics can still be entertaining even in the absence of Kitty Harris.

Sigh.

I miss Kitty.




So I checked her Wikipedia entry, but all I found was this:

Post-legislative career

Harris was photographed passing out business cards prior to the 2007 State of the Union Address.

And that's it! A woman who once worked so hard none of her staffers could put up, I mean, keep up with her, reduced to sitting at home torturing large rodents?

Will somebody get that woman a reality TV show already? Bravo? Spike? Anyone? It could be called "Hello Kitty!"

Lee Hazlewood passes away

The man who helped Nancy Sinatra be more than just "Frank's daughter" is gone.

Here is a wonderful ditty he and Nancy recorded together.

Is Tommy "Testes" Tester Out on Bail Already?

"Not fully clothed" man jumps White House fence

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A 22-year-old man who was "not fully clothed" jumped the north fence into the White House grounds on Sunday and was immediately apprehended, the U.S. Secret Service said.

Hmm... No wait, that guy was only 22. I guess Tommy is still safely in his cell, sharing quality time with his cell mate Bruno, the hermaphrodite hooker with a heart of gold.

Battling Fear with Tommy Tester

Turns out there was a perfectly good explanation for why Southern Baptist pastor Tommy "Testes" Tester offered sexual favors to the cop who came to arrest him for exposing his little savior to some children - he was afraid of him:

"He said they (Johnson City police) scared him--he was scared to death and didn't know what he'd said or what he'd admitted or anything else," Morris said.

According to the Johnson City Press article, Tester allegedly pulled up in a blue 2007 Toyota Camry and offered to give Johnson City police officers oral sex when they arrived at 308 S. Belmont Street to investigate a report of indecent exposure.

Now, I heard about imagining the other person naked when you're nervous in a job interview or a similar situation, but this seem to go a little far, doesn't it? I mean, I'm afraid of the dentist, but I've never offered him oral sex. Maybe it's all part of Southern hospitality?

An Update on Tommy "Testes" Tester

According to bgay.com, divine drag queen drunk driver Tommy "Testes" Tester worked for the Christian Radio station WZAP-AM. The station is obviously named after gay director John Water's trademark "Zap!" sound effect in the legendary "Homer's Phobia" episode of The Simpsons.

Who knew Christian radio in the South was this fabulous?

Their e-mail address is RAMorris@wzapradio.com .
Let's flood them with requests for a fitting soundtrack to this deliciously sordid affair, like the Weather Girls' It's Raining Men, Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive and Carl Bean's I Was Born this Way. Any song from the Priscilla, Queen of the Desert movie will do, too.

Rumors that said movie will be remade once again for American audiences, this time as Tommy Tester, Trollop of Tennessee, have not been substantiated at this time.

He Can Seek Group Therapy with Pastor Meth

Tommy Tester (does that sound like a porn name to anyone else?), a baptist minister, was arrested in Tennessee. Evidently, he drove under the influence of vodka and something called oxycodone (I am guessing that's not acne medication?), was wearing a skirt, took a leak in front of some kids at a car wash (won't somebody please think about the children?) and offered oral sex to a police officer.

This guy would be perfect for John McCain's campaign. I hear John is always hiring.

iLitigation

Talk about buyer's remorse!

A guy called Jose Trujillo is suing Apple because he can't replace the battery in his iPhone himself and it dies a little faster than one should expect in these modern times.

And he's not just trying to get his 533 Dollars and change back. He's asking for 75,000.- because, you know, Apple was mean to him.

I think this case is totally pants.

The Old Songs

Back in 1975, when the Grammys still meant something, Gladys Knight and the Pips presented the nominees for "Song of the Year" as only they could.



And what songs they were! Like them or not, Feel Like Makin' Love, The Way We Were, You and Me Against the World and Midnight at the Oasis are songs that people still remember, that still play on the radio and that have been covered or sampled by artists from D'Angelo to the Brand New Heavies or the Wu-Tang Clan.

Now name 5 songs that have been nominated for best song over the past 5 years.

That's ok, I'll wait.

Not that those are bad songs (well, some are. James Blunt, anyone?). But I don't even remember the songs by U2 and John Mayer who won in 2005 and 2004. And I like both those acts quite a bit.

Maybe it did make a difference when not everybody considered him or herself a singer/songwriter, when the Brill Building and Motorcity, USA where packed with song writers who did nothing but write songs all day.

One thing's for sure: Today's artists are getting a lot of mileage out of the songs of yesteryear. Michael McDonald recorded two CDs with material pulled from the Motown catalog, Rod Stewart turned crooner for a mind boggling four albums full of compositions that are over half a century old and the above mentioned Gladys Knight released her first Jazz album of standards after about as many years in the business, covering the songs of Ella, Billie and Dinah.

And now the young generation of singers seems to jump on the big bandwagon: The criminally underrated Amel Larrieux (formerly of Groove Theory) released Lovely Standards which does indeed live up to its title, thankfully choosing somewhat more obscure songs from the great jazz era like Wild Is the Wind and If I Were a Bell. And now Canadian R&B and Club diva Deborah Cox delivers a tribute to the incomparable Dinah Washington with Destination Moon, a truly luscious set that the gifted singer recorded live in the studio with a 40 piece orchestra - the way this kind of music is supposed to be made, dag nabbit!

Let's hope that exposure to those great songs will inspire a new generation of song writers to dig a little deeper, try a little harder and find that spark that made those old songs shine so bright. I know there are some talented kids out there (I'm looking at you, Ne-Yo!), but we need a real competition going again so that maybe in a couple of years, Deborah, or Amel or maybe even Gladys will sing, not read, the nominees for Song of the Year and the crowd will go crazy again.

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

No Disrespect Intended

No disrespect intended, but Chaka Khan's new duet with Mary J. Blige, Disrespectful (hear it for free here) is a bit of a mess.
After 2004's stylish effort Classikhan, which chaka-fied legendary songs like To Sir With Love, Gold Finger or Crazy with the able help of the London Symphony Orchestra, this is going in the opposite direction. Maybe they want to appeal to young crunk fans, but I am not feeling for this.

It's a hard, funky tune, but it's also messy and neither here nor there. Chaka, who just a few months ago proved on the tribute CD "We All Love Ella" that she is indeed capable of singing better than ever, is firmly in screaming mode, as is Mary. Speaking of Screams, if this is indeed the handiwork of überproducers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, why did they have to channel one of their worst efforts, the similarly disjointed and all-over-the-place Scream by Janet and Michael Jackson?

I am still optimistic that I will find things I like on the upcoming album, but I definitely won't purchase it without giving it a good listen first.

I hear that Chaka, one of the very few great soul divas who did not have a strong gospel background, recently found Jesus. Thankfully, that did not stop her from giving the new album the potty-mouth-pun title Funk This. Let's just hope the reviews will deserve to be better than something that almost rhymes with that tilte.

The Sobbing of Doris Troy

While browsing IMDB, I stumbled across an upcoming movie version of the musical Mama, I Want to Sing!
This, for those who don't know, is the autobiographical musical of the late, great soul singer Doris Troy, who played her own mother in the original stage version of the musical. In London, that part was played by both Chaka Khan and Micah Paris.

The movie has an interesting cast, including musicians Ciara, Ne-Yo, Bobby Valentino, Ralph Tresvant and the one and only Patti Labelle! Also starring is CSI: NY hottie, Hill Harper.

Doris Troy grew up in the Bronx as the daughter of a pentecostal preacher from Barbados. She may not have been the best versed singer technically, but few reached the sheer amount of emotions she could pack into a song. Just listen to her desperate sobbing on "How my Heart Breaks" - a record that, rumor has it, may have featured a young Dwight Reginald a.k.a. Elton John on Piano!

Doris was a talented song writer, and her big hit "Just One Look" was used in so many movies and commercials, as well as getting covered by acts like the Hollies, that it allowed her not to have to starve like so many of her peers.

Doris Troy died of emphysema on February 16, 2004. I hope this movie will be a worthy monument to her and her achievements.

The Secret

If somebody could write down the main differences between the new self-improvement fad "The Secret" and Scientology down on a postcard - no wait, still wouldn't be interested.

Go peddle dumb, greedy and crazy somewhere else, Oprah. I'm not buying.

A good salon.com article on the subject can be found here.

Dale Eaglesham

Dale Eaglesham is a heck of a nice guy, an incredible artist and a dyed-in-the-wool professional. After being a well-kept secret in the industry for almost 20 years (his first Marvel work on Conan was in 1986), people finally took notice in a big way with Green Lantern a few years ago, then Sigil (which was cut short due to CrossGen painful implosion), H-E-R-O, the mega-hit Villains United and now one of my favorite super hero franchises, Justice Society of America.

And Dale's art has rarely looked better than in Issue 4. While Art Thibert was the bigger name as far as inkers go, Ruy Jose's style just meshes much better with Dale's. So if you think you know Dale's art from his Green Lantern days, have another look.

New Music: Adriana Evans - El Camino

I had a chance to hear a track from Adriana's upcoming album "El Camino" today and it's amazing.
The song "Hey Now" goes for a 1970s Marvin Gaye feeling and reminded me most of the song "Come Live With Me Angel" from his "I Want you" album.

Adriana's vocals are joyful and clear as ever, the production is flawless and organic. Can't wait to get my hands on this album, which will be released this month on Expansion records in the US and will only be available as an overpriced import in the US for the time being.

Pastor Meth Proclaims Himself Cured!

Reverend Ted Haggard, the pride of Coloarado closets, says he is now "completely heterosexual." I'm sure the members of his church will now pray for him to also stop being a meth-smoker and a grade-A creep.
Chances are, they'll come up 0 for 3.

Rev. Ted Haggard "cured."