Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Good Riddance, 2008

As the last few hours of 2008 are ticking down here, I'm trying to avoid reflecting too much on all the bad things that went down in this, the worst year I remember living through.

Damn! This sure was no pick nick. And to add insult to injury, they're making this stinker of a year a second longer!

So anyway. Hit the road, 2008. Don't let the door hit ya.

I found this really nice New Years Eve clip of Gladys Knight singing "Overnight Success" on youtube. May 2009 bring us all the fulfillment of our dreams.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Our Prayers Are Answered: Medical Breakthrough

Heroic scientists have found a cure for one of the most devastating ailments of our times: Flimsy-eye-lash syndrome.

Allergan Inc, the maker of Botox, said on Friday that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved its eyelash-thickening drug Latisse.

Latisse is designed to treat a condition known as hypotrichosis of the eyelashes, which means a person does not have enough eyelashes.

The active ingredient in Latisse is bimatroprost, the same ingredient that is in Allergan's glaucoma treatment Lumigan. Patients taking Lumigan found a side effect of the drug to be eyelash growth, prompting Allergan to study it for the new use.

Latisse is a once-daily prescription treatment that is applied to the base of the upper eyelash with a sterile, single-use-per-eye disposable applicator. Once treatment is stopped, eyelashes will gradually return to where they were prior to treatment.

True, it's more of a treatment than a permanent cure, but even so: No longer will those who suffer from flimsy-eyelash-syndrome (FES) be unable to throw a sultry wink at a handsome man in a three piece suit. No longer will small insects be able to dive into their eye balls like Greg Louganis into a pool. This amazing discovery lashes out at a debilitating affliction that affected dozens of people around the world.

To celebrate this great discovery, here is one of the most stylish videos of all time, Ashford and Simpson's "Found a Cure!"

Friday, December 19, 2008

Celebrity Gift Suggestions: Rick Warren

I've been out with bronchitis for a while, but I am recovering just in time to bring you another installment of the Internet's fastest growing blog sensation, Celebrity Gift Suggestions.

Today's gift is just perfect for Rick Warren. I'm sure we're all a bit stumped how a right wing preacher who compared President Elect Obama to a holocaust denier before the election now ended up being invited to do some superstitious hoodoo I don't get at the inauguration. But we can't be as stumped as Warren's family members, who are facing the task of buying a gift for somebody who made enough money with his book deals to bail out the auto industry all by himself.

Well, be stumped no more, Warrenses. Your prayers have been answered!

For Rick Warren: A Mike Jones gift certificate.


A few hours with the man who previously serviced Warren's esteemed colleague Ted Haggard, and possibly Larry Craig, too, and Rick could get out of his system whatever makes him think about homosexuality so much. Everybody wins!

Just a word of advice, Mr Warren: No barebacking at Saddleback, mmmkay? We want this Christmas to remain merry!